TITLE: Absolutely 
AUTHOR: aRcaDIaNFall$
FEEDBACK: arcadianfalls@yahoo.com.au 
RATING: G
SPOILERS: baby-arc
CLASSIFICATION: MSR, familyfic
SUMMARY: Scully asks Mulder to father her child. Alternate universe.
AUTHORS NOTE: ummm... This one's been just sitting on my harddrive for
a while now. It was written after I first heard about Scully's choice
of Mulder as the father of her baby. It makes no attempt to fit into
the later season 8 universe. Just my take on how the situation could
have been if 1013 hadn't been in charge *g*. 
--> http://www.geocities.com/arcadianfalls/


Absolutely
by aRcaDIaNFall$


"Mulder?" The doorknob is turned and the door squeaks as it's pushed
open. "Mulder, your door is unlocked."

"I know."

She nods, coming to stand in the doorway. Stretched out on the couch, I
turn my head to look at her. "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

I gesture. Take a seat. She does, eyes to the floor. I can tell by her
awkward gait that something's up.

"So, talk."

"I have a favour to ask you. I don't want you to answer me straight
away - this is something you're going to need to think about."

"I'm listening."

"I've been thinking about a child. About *having* a child. And I've
come to the conclusion that if I want to do that, I'm running out of
time. Success rates drop with age and... So, I've been to see some
doctors..."

"You want to use your stored ova?"

"I had a doctor check it for me. Using new techniques, they think
there's quite a chance that that can... well, they think they can. But
I need a sperm donor." Her eyes are on me, wide with apprehension. Then
she drops her gaze to the floor. "I've thought about it... I could just
go to a sperm bank, but I don't want that. I want the father of my baby
to be somebody I know."

In other words... "Me."

She draws a deep breath. "Yes."

"I'll do it."

She holds up a hand. "Don't reply one way or the other yet, Mulder. I
need you to think hard about this."

I shake my head. "I don't need to think about this. I want to do it,
Scully."

"Are you certain?"

"Absolutely."

She looks relieved, though a little awkward. "Thank you." That was the
understatement of the century, the expression on her face adds.

"One condition."

Her guard goes up. "What?"

"This child is mine, too. I get to be a part of his or her life."

"Mulder, you don't have to -"

"I want to. That's my condition. If I'm going to father this child I
want to *be* it's father. Change its diapers, teach it how to read and
write and play baseball..."

"Mulder -"

She's crying. Have I upset her? Is the idea too terrible for her to
comprehend? Is this just something she doesn't want? No. She's crying
but she's smiling, too. She slides off the armchair and crawls over to
me. I literally lift her up, drawing her onto the couch beside me,
holding her close. 

"You okay?" Stupid question, but it does the trick. She lifts her head,
drying her eyes on her sleeve, nodding silently. The tearful smile on
her lips is heartwarming.

"I'm just so *glad* that you want this," she murmurs, burying her face
against me again. "I was so afraid that you wouldn't care one way or
the other... or that you'd say no."

"I would never say no to you," I promise softly. 

She sniffs. "I know."












I'm there with her during the pregnancy, holding her hair back as she
tosses her cookies, doing her grocery shopping, staying over til all
hours just talking to her, tucking her in to bed when she falls asleep
on the couch beside me. I'm there during the visits to the doctor,
holding her hand during the ultrasounds, grinning as I see that tiny
bundle of cells moving in her belly. I'm there with my ear pressed
against her stomach, listening, or my hand, feeling every flutter. I'm
there during the labour, all fifteen hours of her pain, encouraging
her, teasing her, feeding her icechips and wiping the sweat from her
brow and letting her grip my hand. I see the baby's head crown, hear
his first cries, see the pure joy on Scully's face as he's laid in her
arms, that same joy I feel surging through my veins. 

"What are you going to call him?" the nurse asks. Scully looks to me.

"Mulder? What do you think?"

"Jake," I say quietly, looking at his scrawny red face. I don't know
where I've plucked that name from but once I've said it I know I can't
ever think of the child as anything else.

Scully grins. "Jake it is."















"Momeeeeeeeeee! We're back!!"

Scully is stretched out on the couch on her side perusing a science
journal and looks up, arms open to greet her son.
"Hey, sweetie. How was the game?"

Jake pulls a face. "The Knicks lost. They played a-*pawl*-ingly."

Scully smiles affectionately, ruffling his dark hair. "Did your daddy
use that word?" Jake nods. "Do you know what that word means?" Jake
shakes his head. "It means," Scully explains, "that they played very,
very badly, and Daddy's sense of pride in his favourite team is hurt."

She sends him off to wash up for dinner and moves into the kitchen. I
hover for a few minutes, telling her about the game, before she asks if
I want to join them. I grin. "Sure."

Jake doesn't want to eat his broccoli. He pulls the most pitiful faces,
taking full advantage of his innocent hazel eyes, but Scully is
adamant. "Eat it or I'll give you asparagus next time." Jake hates
asparagus and she knows it.

Dinner finishes and Jake drags me to the floor. We spend the next hour
pretending to be knights of Camelot slaying dragons. 

He has pre-school tomorrow and Scully tells him to go get into his
pajamas. They're his favourites: firetrucks. Scully comes in to read
him his bed time story but he insists I stay too. We sit on either side
of him on the narrow bed, taking turns narrating and doing silly
voices. He's sleepy when we finish. Scully switches off the lamp,
leaving his night-light on and the door open a crack so the hall light
shines through. Jake is afraid of the dark, though he won't admit it.

Scully kisses him goodnight, then I do. 

"See you next Saturday," I promise him.

"Saturday," he echoes sleepily. Our ritual. I take one look at my
innocent son before following Scully out.


"Coffee?" she offers, cupboard doors banging. 

"Please."

I stretch out along the couch, comfortable in her home as I've always
been. As she waits for the coffee she starts clearing up Jake's toys on
the floor. I jump down to help her and we tidy silently, relaxed in
each other's presence.

She brings the coffee in, putting some music on, a jazzy radio station.
Jake's favourite channel. He's a music nut.

"He gets smarter every time I see him," I comment, watching her over my
coffee. She sips and leans back on the couch opposite me contently.

"He's the smartest kid in his class. His pre-school teacher thinks
maybe we should skip kindergarten and put him straight in the first
grade."

"What do you think about that?"

"I'm considering it. No point in pushing him, though. He's got the rest
of his life to be grown up."


She tucks her bare feet under her and eyes me contemplatively. "Mulder,
did you ever imagine that you'd be this sort of father?"

"A 'once a week' father, you mean?"

She nods and I shake my head. "To be honest, I thought there'd be some
husbandhood accompanying the fatherhood. But I'm not complaining,
Scully. I love Jake."

She nods. She's not satisfied.

"Why do you ask? Are you happy being this sort of mother?"

"A 6-days-a-week single mother, you mean?" She smiles, shaking her head
slowly. "No, I didn't. I guess I was hoping for some wifehood."
Self-disparaging grin. 

"You're allowed to date people, you know," I venture. "If you need me
to watch Jake any time -"

She shakes her head dismissively. "I don't want to date. Even if I
did... I'm a forty-year-old single mother with a career. That's not the
sort of ad a guy would respond to."

"When you put it that way... You don't think any guy is going to want
to check you out? You're still beautiful, Scully."

Small, shy smile. "Thank you." She shakes her head as if amused and
takes another sip of coffee.

"Meanwhile, what about you, Mulder? You're a single man. You're free."

I shake my head. "I don't want to date. I have everything I could
possibly want."

"We're going to die alone if we keep this up, you realise?" She cocks
an eyebrow.

"Keep what up?"

"This mortal fear of relationships."

"I'm not afraid. I just don't want anybody else."

"Anybody else?"

"You know what I mean. I see you every day. I see Jake at least once a
week... Sure, I wish it were more, but we make the most of it."

"And that's enough for you? Me and Jake?"

"Yeah."

She gazes at me long and hard. "It's not enough for me," she confesses.
She takes another sip of coffee, hiding. "I love Jake to bits but every
time I look at him I just see you. Sometimes I have trouble separating
the two of you in my mind, you're so alike. Having him is like having
you here with me whenever you're not."

"Is that a bad thing?" I'm not sure what she's getting at.

"It makes me miss you."

"We see each other every day, Scully."

"I know. But I tuck him into bed every night and see his beautiful face
and every night I expect that when I go to my own room his daddy is
going to be there wanting to tuck *me* into bed."

"And he's not."

"No. That's when I miss you."

I have to be direct. "What are you asking me, Scully?"

"I want you to move in with us. We can put a bed or couch or whatever
you want in Jake's room -"

"In Jake's room?"

"Unless you'd rather sleep in the living room."

"Why not your room?"

"My room?"

"You're echoing me, Scully. Sure, your room. Unless you've got any
plans to bring guys home with you there's no reason why we couldn't
share the bed, right?"

"That might confuse Jake."

"How could having his parents living together confuse him?"

"Because all along we've told him the truth about his conception. To
give him the impression now that we're in a relationship would confuse
him. He's only four."

"He already knows that we're in a relationship. He's seen us together.
Kids see these things better than most adults. Jake knows what's going
on."

She looks at me curiously, a little wary. "Oh? And what's 'going on'?"

"I've been in love with you since the first time you fell asleep on my
shoulder and you've been in love with me since you figured out I wasn't
such a nut after all."

She stares at me, bemused, amazed. "Uh-huh. *Really*."

"Really," I agree. I move from my couch across to where she sits,
drawing close to her and kissing her gently. It's something I've
intended to do for years but never really been certain of until now.
The kiss is longer than intended. She deepens it, hands tenuously
reaching out to me, claiming me. I don't draw away til she does and we
simply look at each other. 

"Why did you do that?" she wonders aloud. 

"Why did I do that?" I echo.

"Why now?" she clarifies. "Why after all these years did you only now
kiss me?"

"I guess maybe I was waiting for you to make the first move."

She stares at me, amused but surprised, even stunned. "Really?"

"Really." I grin at her. Sure, things might have gotten messed up. But
we're here now. 

She nods slowly, dropping her gaze to the floor. "Actually, I was
thinking about something else, as well."

"What?"

"About a little brother or sister for Jake."

"Oh."

"I thought maybe we could try conceiving naturally, this time."

"*Oh.*"

"If you like the idea, that is." She's watching me carefully, still
trying to figure things out.

"I think we could give it a go," I agree gravely. 

She gazes at me, grins, then sheepishly breaks away. She drains her
coffee cup and puts it down. I take it from her.
"I'll wash these up. You go get ready for bed. I'll tuck you in."

She smiles, rising. "Be quick."

"Absolutely," I promise, grinning. Oh, absolutely.




fin.

=====