TITLE: Debrief AUTHOR: aRcaDIaNFall$ FEEDBACK: arcadianfalls@yahoo.com.au RATING: PG SPOILERS: Three Words, Mulder-abduction-arc CLASSIFICATION: MSR, A SUMMARY: After the fiasco at the Census Bureau Scully tries to talk to Mulder. --> http://www.geocities.com/arcadianfalls/ Debrief (1/1) by aRcaDIaNFall$ We all ended up back at my place for a debrief. Mulder was angry and moody and Doggett was looking grim. He hadn't really wanted to come back with us, that was obvious, but I hadn't given him a choice. The Gunmen looked despondant as they sat around my kitchen table, and they weren't oblivious to the testosterone tension in the room, either. Still jumpy after the close escape, I wasn't in the mood to take crap from anyone. "Mulder, Agent Doggett, sit down." Doggett obeyed but Mulder was still pacing. I called his name again, more sharply, and he did stop, looking at me with piercing dark eyes. I sighed and gave up, letting him wander away from the rest of us. The others all knew pretty much what had happened, but I had been out of the loop. I shot questions at them, trying to get the facts, to figure out how and why Mulder and Doggett had gotten so close to danger. The Gunmen were all evasive, not wanting to dob Mulder in. Doggett too, though he was angry, wouldn't say anything about Mulder, just stating and restating his own actions. I gave up, letting the four of them leave, and went in search of Mulder. He'd ended up in my bedroom, and he was sprawled out on his back on my bed, gazing at the ceiling. "Mulder." He didn't look at me. "Save it, Scully. I know I screwed up." "You took a huge risk, Mulder." "That's what I do, Scully. I take risks. You know that better than anybody." "This was a stupid risk. You were being stupid and selfish and arrogant. You didn't believe Agent Doggett. He was trying to save your life." "Excuse me if I don't trust the guy," he muttered, sitting up, swinging himself off the bed and standing, moving to the window to look out. "I haven't had the past six months to make friends with him." "I told you that he was trustworthy." He turned on me. "You could be wrong! I can't just take your word for that, Scully. You're the only one I trust. Or at least it used to be that way." He stared at me and I stared right back at him, feeling his hostility. I knew what was behind it. He'd been through hell and, if that wasn't enough, come back to find his place filled by another. I knew how threatened he felt by that, and I'd allowed him more because of that. But I was angry and I wasn't going to let him get away with feeling sorry for himself. "Don't give me that crap, Mulder. Things have happened and both of us have changed, but nothing can change what really matters. I trust you with my life and I know you feel the same. Sure, things are a little crazy. They're different. But we shouldn't let them make us weaker. We never have, before." I watched him for a moment, silent. He just stood there. "I know why you did what you did tonight, Mulder. I know how badly you just want to get back to normal. But you weren't thinking. It was a stupid risk, and it was selfish." "Selfish?" he challenged. He stared at me darkly. "Mulder, the last few months have been the worst of my life. I've lost you before but this time it was for good and you can't begin to understand how much that hurt. And now that you're back... I just can't believe that you'd put yourself in danger. You have to think more carefully. You have to understand how important you are." His jaw was still set, but I could see the emotions playing across his sensitive face. Guilt, rebellious anger, impatience, discomfort. We had a long way to go. He glanced down at my belly, then at my face, then turned away. I waited for him to speak but he was silent. I sighed, knowing I wouldn't get any further. "Just take care of yourself, Mulder. And give Agent Doggett a chance. He's on our side." No response. I didn't know what to do. I hadn't known, since he'd come back. It was too much too fast for both of us. "I'm going to take a shower," I told him softly, kicking my shoes off. "Are you going to be here when I come back?" He shook his head. "I'll go." I nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow, then." He still stood, in the dark, so still. I wanted so badly to draw him close and hold him until these wounds were healed but he was too angry, too edgy. For the moment, I just had to give him space. I drew a breath. "I just don't want to lose you again." "I know." His voice was quiet, distant. "Goodnight, Mulder." "Goodnight." I gazed at him for one last, long second, then I slipped into the brightly lit bathroom, closing the door. Leaving, for the moment, the darkness and everything in it outside. fin. ===== : VISIT aRcaDIaNFall$' X-FILES FANFIC : http://www.geocities.com/arcadianfalls/ > check out the new images!! < http://shopping.yahoo.com.au - Yahoo! Shopping - Get organised for Christmas early this year!