TITLE: Past Midnight
AUTHOR: aRcaDIaNFall$
FEEDBACK: arcadianfalls@yahoo.com.au 
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: Vienen, Mulder-abduction-arc
CLASSIFICATION: A, MSR
SUMMARY: Mulder is out of the FBI for good. How does he deal with those
first few hours?
AUTHORS NOTE: Vienen just aired here last night. I haven't rewatched it
yet so please forgive any inaccuracies.
--> http://www.geocities.com/arcadianfalls/


Past Midnight
by aRcaDIaNFall$


Past midnight. I hadn't been asleep, just dozing on the couch. I'd
known that he would come to me, eventually. I'd been waiting for it.

He let himself in, gently turning the knob and nudging the door open,
moving hesitantly. "Scully?"

I reach out, flicking on the lamp near my head. "I'm here."

He stops short. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"I was waiting for you."

Waiting for him ever since Kersch had told him the news. 

He doesn't come closer, but just stands there in the shadows, rubbing
tiredly at his face. 

"Where have you been, Mulder?"

Sheepish grin. "I, uh, went to a bar."

My heart sinks, yet I'd expected it. I tilt my head slightly,
acknowledging it. I can't blame him. Everything has been taken from
him, this time for good.

He moves closer, tossing off his jacket. He does look tired. "How are
you?"

"I'm okay." I touch my belly lightly. "We're okay. Me and your newest
first baseman, here."

He grins, taking another few steps forward. I start to pull myself up
but he stops me, hand lightly on my shoulder, easing me back. He picks
up the rug tossed over the back of the couch and drapes it over me,
making an exaggerated show of tucking me in, his fingertips gently
brushing my belly through the blanket. He's still cautious about
touching. He still doesn't know where he stands.
He kisses my forehead, then crouches beside me, looking contrite. I've
realised something. There's no alcohol on his breath. 

"You went to a bar?" I gaze at him, curious.

He shrugs. "Sat down, ordered the usual... and then I thought of you.
And the baby. And I wondered what the hell I was doing there."

I nodded, touched, but still curious at his actions. "And then?"

"I left. Went for a walk. Just sat for a while, thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"The bureau, the x-files... it was everything. I thought for so long
that if I lost it, I would lose myself. But I was wrong. I realised
today that would lose everything if I stayed."

"I don't understand."

"Ever since I came back, Scully, I've been trying so hard to get the
x-files back. That was what I thought. But tonight I figured it out.
It's not the x-files I want back. It's us. It's you."

"I'm here, Mulder," I say softly. "I've been here for you all along."

"Agent Doggett -"

"Doggett's a good agent. He's been a good partner. But he's not you.
He's not a threat to us." I sigh as I add, "He's not an issue for us,
now." Now that Mulder has to put the FBI behind him forever. 

He nods, flashing me a wry smile. "I guess it's his territory, now. His
x-files. His office."

I follow his lead, and try to make light of the situation. "No more
paperwork for you."

"No more butt-kissing meetings upstairs."

"No more red-eye flights."

"No more crappy motels. No more long cartrips..."

His shoulders suddenly slump, his head bowed, and he lets out a sigh. I
reach out to him, touching his hair, the back of his neck. He might
know we're better off this way but it still hurts him, having to walk
away from his office, from our life for the past eight years. They were
his x-files. They always will be. It's not easy to let go of, no matter
how it's rationalised.

"It's not the end of everything, Mulder," I say quietly, and my voice
hitches a little as I speak. I hear a snuffling, choked sob from him,
and I draw him against me, heart aching for him. 

He sobs against me, not desperate but quietly grieving for a door that
has been closed forever. Silent, I simply hold him, let him feel my
strength, let him know that I'm there like I've been there all along.
All we've needed is for him to reach out.

The sobs slow but he still burrows close against me, face hidden.
Suddenly, a muffled noise. I can't tell if it's a sob or a chuckle.
Another, and then another. He lifts his face to me, his hands on my
belly, feeling the kicks. 
He heaves a breath. 
"You know something?" he asks me, still wrestling with that sad humour.


"What?" I ruffle his hair gently. 

"I'm now officially unemployed." 

I smile. "How are your babysitting skills?"

His smile grows and he ducks his head, wistfully amused, his hand still
following the baby's movements. I feel confidence rebuilding in me.
Mulder's strong enough to get through this. It's not the end of
everything. 

Some things are only just beginning.



fin.


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