TITLE: Square One AUTHOR: aRcaDIaNFall$ FEEDBACK: arcadianfalls@yahoo.com.au (no season 9 details, please!!) RATING: PG SPOILERS: Set during Three Words. Mulder-abduction-arc and baby-arc. Vague references to Doggett's family. CLASSIFICATION: Scully-Doggett friendship, implied MSR SUMMARY: Scully gets some advice. AUTHOR'S NOTE: I started this way back when Three Words aired here and finished it this afternoon. Please take into account that season 9 hasn't aired here in Australia, and I'm keeping spoiler free, so some of the Doggett info may be wrong. --> http://www.geocities.com/arcadianfalls/ Square One by aRcaDIaNFall$ I found Agent Doggett entirely by accident, as I was walking through the bullpen on the third-floor. Mulder had stormed out of our office half an hour earlier, and there had been no doubt that Doggett had been the target of his anger. Unable to contact either of them since, I'd been on my way up to see Skinner when I found Agent Doggett. "Agent Doggett? What are you doing up here?" He looked up at me, surprised, then a little guilty. "To be honest, Agent Scully, I didn't think it was safe to be down in the x-files office right now." "What did Mulder say to you?" "Not much before he gave me a big ol' shove. He sounded pretty cheesed off about that Absalom thing. I tell you, I knew this guy got passionate about his cases, but he's making it personal." "This particular case is personal," I answered quietly, controlled. "He's been thr-" "Through a lot. Yeah, so I keep being told. And I understand, Agent Scully, I really do. What happened to him, nobody should have to live through. It's so crazy I still don't understand it myself, so God knows how he's managing to get it straight in his head." "I don't think he really is." I felt tired. "I can see the path of self-destruction that he's on but I don't know how to stop him. It frightens me a little." "He shouldn't be worrying you with this," Doggett said. "You've already got yourself and J. Edgar to take care of. That's plenty enough for one person to handle." "I'm fine." "Sure you are. But in a month or two, you're gonna need somebody around. If he hasn't gotten his act together you won't be so fine." "I appreciate your concern, Agent Doggett, but I'm sure everything will be sorted out." He shrugged at my brush-off. I wished guiltily that I hadn't sounded so cold. "I am sorry about Mulder," I told him quietly. "I know that his being back has put you in an awkward position and I don't mean for that to be any more difficult. You and I did some good work together. I just wish it could have been under different circumstances." "I know you worked with Agent Mulder for almost eight years before I came along and I know you two care about each other. I'm not trying to get in the way of that. I just want to do my job, Agent Scully." I smiled tightly, feeling the shakiness of emotion welling up inside. "I appreciate that." Doggett stood up. "You think Agent Mulder would mind if I took you to lunch? Or should we invite him along as well?" I smiled tolerantly. "I don't want the two of you getting in a food fight, so we might have to leave him out this time." Doggett nodded. "Lunch for two it is." I relaxed a little. "Two and a half." He grinned. He had a nice smile. "Two and a half," he agreed. I avoided all my and Mulder's usual lunch places, as I had the past few months. We went to a small café instead, sitting at an outside table in the sunshine. Doggett smiled when I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich. I raised an eyebrow. "What?" "Nothing." He shook his head. I let out a small cry as I felt a barrage of kicks. Hey, take it easy in there, kid. I smiled. "He's kicking in there, huh?" "What makes you think it's a 'he'?" I wondered. He shrugged. "Habit, I guess. When my wife was pregnant, she knew all along it was going to be a boy. Or at least she said she knew all along. She was right." I knew only the bare bones of Doggett's life prior to the x-files, of his career in the marines and NYPD and bureau. I'd heard vague rumours about a murdered son. I nodded but kept quiet, waiting for him to continue. He didn't say anything more, though, until they delivered my sandwich. "My wife's biggest craving was grilled chicken," he remarked, explaining his earlier behaviour. "My son was eating it before he could walk." 'My wife'. 'My son'. I wondered why he wasn't using their names. What had happened to his family, to his son? How suddenly had he lost it all? "What was your son's name?" I asked, watching him. I didn't want to push too far, but I was curious. "Luke John. It was the proudest night of my life, when he was born. I held the tiny wrinkled bundle in my arms... I'd never been so scared, or amazed. Kids are the best thing that can ever happen to a person, you know. Watching them grow up, seeing how they copy you, how they learn from you." He sat back. "You're really lucky, Agent Scully. Agent Mulder, this baby.. I know things look hard for you at the moment but you've gotta know how lucky you are. You've gotta appreciate what you have." "You didn't appreciate what you had?" I wondered, watching him cautiously. "I worked late nights, weekends, took work home... I had a wife and kid but it was like I never saw them. Thought that was just the way it had to be, that the day would come eventually where I'd make up for it. Then, before I had that chance, I just lost it all." Toying with his fork, he looked up and at me across the table. "I never thought I'd have to go home to an empty house again. I thought I was set for the rest of my life... And instead I'm back at the beginning." "I'm sorry." I could see him on a sun-dappled driveway, teaching a child how to ride a bike or hit a baseball. A house with drawings on the refridgerator and toys scattered in the yard, and now he had nothing left but the memories. The sense of loss made me ache for him. Back at square one. "It's not too late to start again," I suggested, wondering what his reaction would be. "Yeah, well..." He flashed me a smile. "Who knows, huh? They say life begins at forty. Maybe now's the time for all of us to start fresh, me, and you and Mulder. Time to decide what we want from life and grab it, and when you find what's right, don't let it go, no matter what. That's when you lose everything. When you give up." I nodded, reaching across the table to touch his arm lightly. I pulled back again and took a sip of water. "Give Mulder some time. He just needs to know that you're fighting on his side." "He's not exactly a trusting sort of guy." I smiled. "No, he's not. You've got to win his trust, prove to him that you're working with him, not against him." "I may not have the time. You know they want him out of the bureau." "They've tried before, and failed." "But if they succeed this time, what's he got planned? What are you going to do when this baby comes?" I shrugged slightly. "I don't know," I answered honestly, a little apprehensive and a little excited by the freedom of an unknown future. "But once we figure it out, I'm not going to let it go. Not after fighting so hard." He nodded. "You sure as hell deserve it." I drew a breath and smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Now, about finding you somebody... There's always Agent Reyes?" He laughed. "Monica?" I shrugged. "She's got attitude. You don't like her?" "Monica and me... Nah." He shook his head. "We're like chalk and cheese." "They say opposites attract." He grinned. "I guess we'll have to wait and see, huh?" He lifted his glass in a toast. "To you, me, Mulder and the future." I smiled, lifting my glass. Amen to that. fin. ===== : VISIT aRcaDIaNFall$' X-FILES FANFIC : http://www.geocities.com/arcadianfalls/ http://my.yahoo.com.au - My Yahoo! - It's My Yahoo! Get your own!