TITLE: The Journey AUTHOR: aRcaDIaNFall$ FEEDBACK: arcadianfalls@yahoo.com.au RATING: PG SPOILERS: pilot, Tooms, Red Museum, Syzygy, Pusher, Home, Dreamland, Requiem, maybe Existence and Per Manum. CLASSIFICATION: MSR SUMMARY: 36 hours - and eight years - on the road. AUTHOR'S NOTE: How I, if I were CC and had painted myself into such a little corner, might possibly end the show! I'm guessing there's going to be either some flee-for-your-life or damn-that's-a-good-job-offer scenario explaining Mulder's departure. I've been kinda vague on the details here to really fit whatever we get fed. Enjoy the journey! --> http://www.geocities.com/arcadianfalls/ The Journey by aRcaDIaNFall$ Late afternoon as we drive along the winding road. The day is bright but the overhanging trees filter most of the sunlight out and it's quite dark. We come to a clearer area, the tarred road sundappled. There's a gentle breeze and over the radio we can hear birds calling through the open window. I glance in the rear view mirror and see a wide, mischievious smile. I grin. "You've got your daddy's smile, Billy Boy." It's a pretty area. Lots of large, leafy oaks, so green and fresh and new. I can see an old cemetary, the ancient looking graves more like Mayan ruins. // I've arranged to exhume one of the bodies. You're not squeamish about that sort of thing, are you? // I don't know, I've never had the pleasure. The radio goes static with a high pitched screech, the display jumping through numbers, searching for a station. William lets out a loud cry. Wincing, I reach for the knob, turning the volume right down. "Sorry, sweetie." // What the hell was that? // Oh, you know. Probably nothing. The radio settles on a station and I cautiously roll the volume up again. Elvis. William gurgles, much happier. "Yeah, yeah. Same rule as Daddy. You get one song." It's getting dark as I pull into the gas station. We stopped only a half hour ago for William but now we're almost out of gas. William has fallen asleep, well-fed. My stomach rumbles. I'm starving. I fill up the tank and get a sad-looking packaged bagel. Dinner will have to wait. I climb in, tug on my seatbelt, and I pause. I swear I can smell his cologne. // Fox... // Nah. Mulder. I even made my parents call me Mulder. // Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you. I sigh and put the keys in the ignition. Gotta keep moving. // Know a good place to eat around here? William's awake again. I grab the opportunity and pull over at a lively looking steakhouse. "Dinner time for Mommy, Billy Boy." The ribs are fantastic. William, watching me from the high-chair, starts to whine. I tear off a piece of bread and dip it in the pool of barbeque sauce on my plate, and try to airplane it into his mouth. He clutches at it, wanting to feed himself, succeeding in almost shoving the bread up his nose before managing to find the right place. He gets sauce all over his face. I grab my napkin and reach across to clean him up, first his sticky hands and then his face. He's got a big dob of barbeque sauce right beside his mouth. I hesitate. // You've got - My cheek tingles. // Thanks. I smile sheepishly, and wipe William's face clean. Another napkin to clean myself up and I signal for the check. "Let's go." Barely ten minutes since we'd left the steakhouse and I could smell a seriously ripe diaper. I pull over, toss the suitcase occupying the passenger seat on the roof of the car and put down the change blanket instead, unbuckle William and lay him down, reach into the diaper bag. Diaper. Talc. Wetwipes. An empty box. No more wetwipes. Damn. I search the glovebox. No wetwipes. I search through the bags piled up three-high on the backseat on either side of William's babyseat. I pull them out, one by one, piling them up by the side of the road and peer under the seats. No wetwipes. I search the tightly-packed trunk. No wetwipes. I sigh. "They must be in the u-haul, Billy boy." He blows me a raspberry and smiles. I put my hands on my hips, smiling despite myself. "Yeah, really funny." I grab some paper towelling and a bottle of water and I improvise. I pack William back in his seat and then return to my own. I'd moved the seat back to search. My feet don't reach. As I strap myself in I have to readjust it, slide it all the way forward again. // Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy, the big macho man? // No, I was just never sure your little feet could reach the pedals. The neon signs are only streaks of colour as I pass them. My eyelids are getting heavy, my mind wandering. In the blur I see a sign for a rest area up ahead. "Think it's time we pull over, Billy Boy." // Hey. I wake with a start, the phantom touch of his fingertips on my cheek. // I think you drooled on me. William starts to whimper. I look at my watch. 12.14pm. "Yeah, sweetie. Let's go find a motel." It's two am when I fall into bed, but we're on the road again seven the next morning. William sleeps most of the morning but by midday he's grouchy and I decide we both need a break. I pull up in front of a bakery and find a park bench in the town's main square. Fistful of pretzel, William tries to wriggle off my lap and crawl along the bench. Clever little boy. Your daddy would be so proud of you. I sit in the warm sun, content, wistful. // I guess I was just projecting on myself. // Why? Is there a history of genetic abnormalities in your family? // No. // Well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little Uber-Scullys. William slips and almost tumbles. I catch hold of him, tugging him back onto my lap, kissing the top of his head to stop the tears. // Scully... I never saw you as a mother before. We push on. By late afternoon I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open and the classical CD I'm playing isn't helping. I switch to the radio, searching through the channels. I pass one and, recognising a song, quickly go back. It's Cher, Walking In Memphis. William laughs loudly from the back seat and I glance over at him. "You like this, huh? Yeah, me too." Starting to get dark. I see a sign and do the math in my head. Still so many miles to go. I should probably pull over for the night, I know. The idea of getting out of the car is appealing, God knows. William is whiney again. // Don't you ever just want to stop? Get out of the damn car? Settle down and live something approaching a normal life? // This is a normal life. "Bit longer, Billy Boy. Bit longer." We pull up at a motel at nine. I sit there in the car in the dark, looking at the lit windows, apprehensive. // I need to ask you something, Mulder. It's important. I look in the rear view mirror and William gazes back at me. I look away. I look at the lights. // The doctor said that there's a good chance of me conceieving, that I can get started straight away. All I'm missing is... a father. // Scully... // Don't say yes or no yet, Mulder. Please. I need you to think it over. I reach for the doorhandle and breathe in the cool outside air. Easing myself out of the car, I close the door behind me and stand for a moment, arms wrapped around myself, tired and shaky. I open the back door and unbuckle William. Grumpy and tired, he whines. "Yeah, bedtime for the both of us." He sleeps against me, thumb in mouth. I lay on my side, exhausted but unable to sleep. I think about *him* and feel nauseous with nerves. // Oh, Scully... Closing my eyes, my skin tingles as I feel him wrap his body around mine, hold me safe and snug. I can feel the warmth, the thrill, the trepidation... // You've given more than enough, Scully. William wakes. He cries restlessly. // Jiggle him. // I am jiggling him. // You're not doing it properly. Pass him to me. // I can do the jiggle, Scully. It's hardly rocket science. The cries stop. He's worn himself out. // See? I'm good at the jiggle. I smile. // Yeah. You're a great daddy, Mulder. I settle down again but still can't sleep. My body wants to rest but my mind is too active. At 3am I give up on sleep and get dressed. The motel manager went off duty at one so I slide the key under the door, trying to be as quiet as possible as I repack the car. William hasn't woken. I buckle him in and then lean close to kiss his cheek as he sleeps, the neon sign throwing fluorescent colours on his face. I can hear planes overhead. // See you 'round, Billy Boy. He sleeps, so unaware. // Mulder, you don't have to go... // It's only temporary, Scully. It's not forever. // If we just had a couple of days I know we could figure out some way- // My flight leaves in twenty-five minutes. I've gotta be on this one, Scully. I back up and gently close the door, standing straight. Closing my eyes, the cool breeze is like his breath on my face. I sigh, lowering myself into the driver's seat, and I struggle to hold the tears back. // I'm going to miss you so much. Mulder... // You just look after my Billy Boy, huh? I'll be back. Wait for me. I almost let the tears flow, but then bite them back, set my teeth, and grip the steering wheel. Resolved, I turn the key in the ignition. It's almost dawn. I can see the cracks of light appearing on the horizon, lighting up the sky above the small town, but my heart is pounding too fiercely for me to appreciate the impending sunrise. Number 97. It's a house; not really what I'd expected. I pull up outside and realise as I drop my hands in my lap that they're shaking. Apprehension, fatigue, sheer overwhelming emotion. I glance at William in the rear-view mirror. Still asleep, a trail of drool escaping his mouth. With my shaking hands I find the handle and swing the door wide open, cautiously stepping out. I feel like I'm stepping on solid ground after months at sea. "Scully!" I swing my head around sharply, not sure if I'd just heard that or hallucinated it. "Scully!" Again. The front door was flung open and he came like a bat out of hell, only slowing when he reached the car, uncertainty overtaking elation. "Scully?" I stare at him, rumpled hair and pajama pants, bare feet. That grey t-shirt. Suddenly exhausted, I can only think of one thing to say. "I got tired of waiting for you to come back." He pulls me against him and kisses my face, crazy, laughing in disbelief. So tired, I just slump against him, let him hold me closely, rub my back, smell my hair. "Oh, Scully. Scully, Scully, Scully..." He seems overjoyed just to say my name. Stroking my hair, he pulls back a little to look at the car. "You drove all the way here?" I nodded. "Me and your Billy Boy." He looks at the u-haul trailer. "You brought everything?" "If this is where you are, this is where we are." "Scully, the bureau-" I shush him tiredly, willingly falling into his embrace again. "That doesn't matter, Mulder. We're home, now. It was a long way but we're home." He pulls back a little to gaze at me, then nods. He smiles, understanding, and, rubbing my back, drops a kiss on my forehead. "Welcome home." fin. AUTHOR'S NOTE: This will teach me to start digging through season 9 spoilers just before bedtime. It's 2.14am and I'm finally off to bed! ===== : VISIT aRcaDIaNFall$' X-FILES FANFIC : http://www.geocities.com/arcadianfalls/ > check out the new images!! < http://briefcase.yahoo.com.au - Yahoo! Briefcase - Manage your files online.